I’d like to preface this post by saying that I’m not looking for a fight on the abortion issue. I’m not seeking to demonise anyone who is pro abortion or support anyone who is anti abortion. I’m just using this space to reflect and think out loud about my own journey with the issue in recent months. Please feel free to comment on this post, but I would ask you to be respectful and considerate if you do.
I’ve never thought much about abortion. I’ve never really had much reason to. All this changed with Tuscan.
Some people applaud Jay and me for the choice we made to continue with our pregnancy even though our son was diagnosed with Down Syndrome. To Jay and me that seems very strange, we don’t feel that we made any choice at all. I guess who we are and how we feel about this issue was formed well before we were faced with any kind of ‘choice’. Our values and choices have been being shaped and moulded together for years. We did not face any deep internal struggle as to what we should do. I think we wondered why and how and whether we could cope, but certainly not if we should try.
When Tuscan was born we spent 3 weeks in the Special Care Nursery at the Mercy Hospital for Women. This was an amazing time for a number of reasons. Firstly we had just had our first child, what could be more amazing than that? Secondly the hospital gave us first rate medical care, Tuscan was incredibly well looked after and we will be forever grateful for this and thirdly we saw some absolute miracles occur. We met a little girl who was born at 23 weeks and 4 days and was just about to head home when we did. We met a little boy who was born at not much over 500grams and left happy and healthy a few days before us. We met twins who would be growing up together because of life saving surgery. We saw huge amounts of effort go into saving life. Life that if left to the natural order would have passed away. We witnessed humanity drawing on all its knowledge and resources to nurture and sustain something so wonderfully precious, it was a privilege to be present.
Jay and I had sought to create life and had succeeded, which is always something of a miracle itself when you get down to the nuts and bolts of it all. This little life we had made was fragile and delicate but alive and beautiful. The doctors and nurses had done everthing required to give our little Tuscan the best chance at life possible and he made the most of it.
A couple of months later we found ourselves handing over this precious life to some doctors who would perform much needed heart surgery. In some ways this handing over made no sense, Tuscan appeared quite well and yet they were going to stop his heart and lungs to give him an even better chance of living longer. The surgery was a fantastic success and Tuscan was recovering well and home 6 days later. Our precious little life had been saved or at least from a danger we knew could and would harm it. Huge amounts of effort and had gone into this saving which caused me to start to wonder about why we sometimes discard life so easily.
My personal opinion is that life starts at conception, when the sperm and the egg get together there’s no turning back, it’s the beginning of the process and the beginning of life. At least in my head that makes the most sense. So when people talk about stem cell research or abortion at whatever stage or contraception that stops a fertilised egg implanting in the lining of the uterus, I see that as the destruction or the discarding of life. The thing that is really messing with my head is that we can see some lives, like the ones that were saved in the hospital while we were there, as precious and worthy of massive effort to save them, but others as not. Not only not worthy of being saved but also not worthy of being allowed to continue to live. I have to say that I really don’t get it.
Now I realise that there are a whole range of complicated issues and potential scenarios at play. I’m not seeking to dismiss the complexity and pain associated with these issues and decisions. That said I still can’t make sense of the fact that some lives, lives that naturally might not be viable, are considered worthy of savings while others are not only not saved, but terminated.
Even if we remove the abortion debate from this discussion altogether. How can we fight with weapons that we know will take away life while at the same time spend millions researching on ways to save life?
Our society is wonderfully gifted in saving life but also remarkably efficient at destroying life. I’m finding this very hard to reconcile.
Filed under: personal, rants, tuscan | Tagged: abortion, down syndrome
Good post, Tim. We hold similar views.
Thanks for stopping by my blog. Feel free to share my poem with anyone.
You might enjoy a video I made about Joshie on his first birthday. Like your Tuscan, he had heart surgery also.
http://www.onetruemedia.com/otm_site/view_shared?p=93231b6e008325995d8cc&skin_id=701&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=email
Your son is beautiful! You are very blessed.
Despite being “legal”, we must, necessarily, due to the enormity of what is taking place every day, re-consider the reality of what takes place during an abortion. It is very easy to slide into the familiarity and comfort of our emotions when discussing this topic. This is a very emotional topic. Emotion has to be left at the door if you want to come in and get to the truth.
At the moment of conception a sperm penetrates an egg thereby fertilizing the egg. At that moment the genetic make-up of that baby is complete. At that very moment the fertilized egg, or zygote, is no longer just a cell or clump of cells from just the mother or just the father. It is no longer just “a part” of the mother or the father. That zygote is now a living entity (or being) that is separate and apart (identifiably by the newly created genetic makeup) from both parents and dependent on the mother for nourishment and space to grow. It is not the mother or her body. It is a human “being” at the earliest and most vulnerable stage of life. At that stage its form may be described as a few cells but its substance is pure human. It is a ‘being” and it is human. Fact via logic.
(FYI: 9 days after conception blood begins to flow. 19 days after conception the heart begins to beat. 35 days after conception tiny arm and legs begin to grow.)
We live in an era of unprecedented consumerism that has most people equating “freedom” with choice. The Founding Fathers of America intended for our freedom to be based in life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Freedom is not based in choice carte blanche.
When you cloak the termination of the life of this ‘being’ with the illusion of “choice” you open the floodgates of emotion because it is considered by the disillusioned to be a direct assault on what they perceive to be their freedom. As Americans, freedom is our most precious asset so if what we perceive to be our freedom is under attack there will necessarily be a rush to defend this “choice” or, due to its legality, what most pro-choice women consider their “right.”
Giving a woman the “right” to have an abortion is logically equivalent to giving a taxi driver the “right” to kill a person who jumped in his cab, even though his “Not in Service” light was on, because he doesn’t want to be bothered with the time, effort and inconvenience of taking the passenger where he needs to go. When a “passenger” shows up in a mother’s womb you can’t just ask them to get out.
I am not going to approach issues of incest, rape or potential death of the mother. These are exceptions to the rule and need to be addressed on an individual basis. Abortion, in and of itself, is the premeditated murder of another human being and it is wrong. Any argument to the contrary is illogical and nonsensical.
I think it is of the utmost importance to be loving and supportive of hurting people. I can’t believe anyone can make such a decision lightly, and being condemning is highly unlikely to display to anyone the loving nature of our saviour.
I just pray that I can be compassionate and loving in prayer and friendship and leave it up to God to do any judging he deems necessary.
So does that mean having an opinion is wrong then Cate? I agree that being loving and supportive despite people’s action is important but I think having your own opinion is crucial as well.
I don’t mind having people having personal opinions for their own life, and I’ve prayed myself and know what I would or wouldn’t do (as far as I can tell – but who knows what circumstances may come up).
The problem is unless someone specifically asks for it, I don’t believe it’s very helpful broadcasting opinions on such sensative topics widely. I have no problem with exploring issues, but it’s an issue that can cause so much hurt it should be done judiciously and carefully. That’s all.
Restrictive or judgmental statements or opinions can cause so much damage in individual cases. I think it’s much better expressing opinions to people you know when you know their particular circumstances.
I think your explorations were very sensative and appropriate. I just worry about statements like this: “Abortion, in and of itself, is the premeditated murder of another human being and it is wrong. Any argument to the contrary is illogical and nonsensical.”
PS: Big congratulations on the arrival of Tuscan (a while ago now). He’s absolutely gorgeous, and you two make wonderful parents. I’m very happy for you.
Yeah I’m with you Cate. I don’t find such statements very helpful either. I’d like to think that when people make them they have the best of intentions, but sadly I think that’s probably quite naive.
Thanks for the congrats, he is pretty great.
Isn’t it interesting that NCCC leader Phil and Dan M abandon the Jeffries when they’re about to have a child.
I suppose that full-teim children, families and the challenges that go with would cramp Phil and Dan’s style.
I notice they don’t comment on your blog, either.
Anyway, I’m just an outsider wondering what the first “C” in NCCC stands for.
Real community in action.
Man I don’t know what has happened between you and the McCredden’s but I’d really encourage you to try and work it through with them. It obviously eats away at you if you’re willing to come and here and post about it on a thread that has nothing to do with them …
“Working it through” was not what I had in mind.
Unless by “it” you mean a small metal object travelling at high velocity.